it's dark in here -looks around-

youwalkforwardillwalkbackwardandwewillmeetsomewhereinbetween

maybe we'll meet again someday

Ok so it's a new year.... Giselle's New Year Resolutions: (and damnit i dont care if this is cliche... you have the choice of reading this and you have the choice of not reading this,although if you've made it this far i do congradulate you and appreciate it): Stop Smoking Stay fit and physicly active for good health Continue to pursue my music Master Oil painting SAVE MONEY for my apartment In the event that I happen to enter a relationship in the '04 i promise not to screw it up by being scared or stupid. (please hold me to that if you notice any of this going on. lol) I also promise to give all the details for every butterfly and sleepless night she gives me. Establish a relationship with God. I want to figure God out without someone preaching to me every Sunday, with out routine bible reading or bible studies. If he is there and he is real, I want to discover him for myself and the relationship there of is between me and my Maker. Not me and what i should or shouldnt be doing. not me and how much i gave at tithing. Not me and how much i read the bible. Not me and whe ther or not i attend church every sunday... Just me and my maker and no one else. Im tired of all the "Do's and Don't's" that dictate organized religion and leaks over into the one on one time. Im tired of stupid guilt trips. there has to be more to "God" than a guilt trip and damnit, i'll find it. Keep my dreads nice and clean. i dont want them smelling like Alex's everytime it rains or they get wet (smells like bread. ewww) stop biting my nails get my highschool diploma

Thursday night i went out with some friends... got really drunk... and almost overdosed on speed...

im okay now though... my heart beat is back to normal...I can eat and sleep...

so much for rehab...

Alright... so I cant believe I am crying right now. just an internet person...

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

im leaving xanga for a while. sorry. bye.

-update-

I checked the po box today which i havent checked in forever and there there was the key thingy.. i open up the bigger box to get the piece of mail that wouldn't fit in my box and it's a package with no return adress.

inside there was

• 24 tubes of oil paints
• chalk pastels
• oil pastels
• new expensive looking paint brushes
• a bag thingy to arm myself with the paint brushes
• pencils... a smudging pencil

i know that i say "can i just say" alot... but CAN I JUST SAY WOW?!?!

i really wish i knew who sent all that because I greatly appreaciate it.. i doubt it's anyone who reads this... seemings as how i'm incredibly stupid and the only adress i'll post is my actual physical home adress... maybe i should start posting my PO box instead... never know when some crazy axe murderer decides to show up at my door. (ill have tea and cookies waiting)

but anyways... now i need to go by canvas so i can use the paints... oil is my unexplored frontier in art. Well.. not completely unexplored but it needs a lot of fine tuning.

wow!!! just in case whoever sent me that stuff does read this and i just forgot i had released my po box to them

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

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m excited. Today i was invited to sit in on my sister's last phsycology class!!! i love phsycology and i love that campus!

woohoo!!

also, tomorrow is friday and you know what that means!